pennylane731's Diaryland Diary

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i'm listening to those CDs again

pelting,
the ice water
soaking in me

i'd much prefer the snow

it's gross to love like dying
to wonder of the peace of resting
i'm frightened of
the finality, but intrigued

would i get to be released from the stranglehold of depression?

all at once for the rise and fall
tension and breakdown
to

STOP.

respiration
fading into those thoughts
children often have

unrealized

this is the haunting nightdream
coercing me to lose myself

hide me

let me start over

i don't know what to say next

maybe i shouldn't

backward
i'm gracious for all that i've received
i want more...
SHUT UP!
these ideals are not what you deserve

read my eyes
answer me yes or no

then i'll be prepared
to go where so many have gone before

my courage is fading
i'm sorry that i love like this
treading the depths to die here

fights are inevitable

who can explain to understand
in time to prevent

all i ever wanted...
i was so close...

wood-grain to cement
velour to burlap
it would have been beautiful either way

and i swear it will be what i think of
at that last moment

8:59 p.m. - 2005-01-11

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