pennylane731's Diaryland Diary

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fuel for the fire

lurching forward breath

heaving

trepidation to look, to peek

because there are too many reasons not to --

but not enough to satisfy questions

and speculations

of egotistical nightmares, and

oh

my

god

i'm

dying

again

don't expect me to be indifferent forever, silly fool;

eventually the eyes of the supposedly clueless will tear up uncontrollably --

no, i won't be able to hide anymore

this

broken-down water's edge of a knife that told me

i never should have believed you in the first place.

"i-told-you-so" is breaking glass and pouring the future regret down my throat;

i wipe the back of my hand along my mouth, bat my eyelashes,

and prepare to fight.

4:19 p.m. - 2004-09-04

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