pennylane731's Diaryland Diary

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after reading a rilke poem, and pondering my life

i.

words exploding in my eyes

as if they were mine

jealousy

they were not written by me

nor were they written FOR me

give me something to be addicted to

and i will

from the first...

my heart breaks and repairs

326 times a day

(not an arbitrary number - think about it)

i have no one to scream to

a silent partner

unrequited

i won't say a word

i won't cause suspicion

not a clue, not an indication

though it kills me slowly...

ii.

words off the top of your head

innocently

cut into me deeply

vertical lines decorating

and i'm breathing slowly

(shallow is my end)

don't cry for me now,

you never did before

i wish i could make you sorry

your conscience has already forgotten me

what about the dreams

what about the words

you

spoke

to

me

(or was that a ploy?)

well, you got what you wanted:

you got to fuck me

and now i'm gone.

10:20 p.m. - 2004-06-22

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