pennylane731's Diaryland Diary


rudolph complex

�hello beautiful� is said as the evening passes by the girl in a blur. she blushes a semi-confident reply of �how are you?� and scurries along. the lightweight screen door opens as if it is about to come off its hinges, and she enters the small community theatre. she is about to watch people, infinitely more poised than she, imitate lives that aren�t theirs, and do so effortlessly.

enter stage left, under dimmed lights. she watches in awe and she is envious of the talent. tears struggle to keep from escaping their ducts. part of the reason is because of the dramatic plot unfolding � it hits too close to home. another part of the reason is that she knows she�ll never be up there. fear holds here back. but she also knows that she�ll never be asked to participate. they are so far out of her league.

it�s the rudolph complex. it�s that feeling of always being on the outside, and never being asked to join in the �reindeer games,� that pushes the tears over the rims of her eyes.

yes, the theatre always moves her.

12:04 p.m. - 2006-09-09

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