pennylane731's Diaryland Diary

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puttin'on the ritz

crackers eaten in a drughaze, begging for sleep
1030pm, when 515am is just too close for comfort
paranoid of weight gain being the one thing to make me lose...
you
(i'm not beautiful anymore)

yawning and an eye-drooping stutter, waiting for the words that don't make sense
to anyone but me

some friends of mine still think i'm looking for the same thing i was looking for
1o years ago

i don't know what you want
and i'm trying to be
some version of perfection
trying not to decay
can i combine all the pieces of everyone you've ever loved
into me?

reality is stuck in a holding pattern
pause on the screen on a skip in the cd
it never starts up again - just
re
peat
re
peat...

all i want to be is the last thought before sleep
and the sweet vision is somebody's dreams

building blocks and stepping stones
and medicine to diet plans
reading newspapers and learning equations and thesauruses filled with bigger, more beautiful
words
that i ever could ever hope to be

10:44 p.m. - 2006-03-20

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