pennylane731's Diaryland Diary

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one person's trash, is another person's treasure

this was my victory
i wanted to dance in the falling snow
but didn't, fearing falling
in my 3.5 inch heels

i saw the stares, i
didn't want to care
but is she pretty
is she ugly
is she just the strangest one they've seen?

i almost didn't mind tonight

i wish that i could say
that certain maps
and certain words
didn't make me turn my head
staring blankly out the window

i don't want to let you watch me die again

maybe one day
i won't feel inadequate
maybe one day
i won't hate people that i've never met

i heard the murmur
like a whisper of an apology
as if you knew
that the words could be my homicide

i will find the lyrics to that song
and memorize them
a certain torture to remind myself

that i am not the first
not the last
i'm not the only one
i will not be boxed up
won't be framed
i will be torn and thrown

into the dumpster

(victory is sweet, but short-lived)

8:28 p.m. - 2005-01-31

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