pennylane731's Diaryland Diary

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it's beautiful, i don't care what anyone else thinks

never saw it coming
with the blaze and the
bloodshed
broken so blue, but i'd never hesitate

this is the marked destiny
i am pained for what i deserve
as much as i desire

the infatuation with proof
weeks on end
my cries delay the return to apathy
withstanding and sustaining

i'll bite my lip
if you won't punch me
i'll cut my own scars
if you won't bleed them out of me

drug me sane, then take advantage of the high
i'll participate; i'm ashamed, but i won't change this
inhaling it, tasting it, needing to see it

addicted to the searing
sickly, scared and intrigued
that i'd ask for this
there are no limitations
anymore

if the calendar shows, months from now,
that i've been a counterpart to a fake existence,
then i have already paid penance
(while embracing it)

8:36 p.m. - 2005-04-26

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