pennylane731's Diaryland Diary

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it is what it is

never experienced, the lights of that
hardcore scene, the tongue-raping
of those little ones
in between the pills

tell me what it's like to be an angel
silk pajamas and massages
smoking the beats
and feeling like you're in love

describe what it's like to bend her over the table
the exhileration
of almost being caught

i don't want to go there, but i will if i have to
(maps, wait, they don't love you like i love you)
or should i just surrender?

dying to be freed from the strain of feeling 2nd best.
tell me more, tell me more
give me another void to fill
with sedatives and fantasies

someone needs to tell me that i'm (more than)okay.
or i need to die in that spotlight
float into the scene i never belonged to

anything is better than this hell
grey repetition, and OCD nightmares
insecure trembling

i'll lay naked beneath you
and i'll scream until i
can no longer hear the sound
of my own heart breaking.

(it doesn't matter anymore)

9:01 p.m. - 2004-11-15

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