pennylane731's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

beautiful disorder

beautiful disorder

i can't comprehend

how i stay focused

while dreaming of the world's end...

we are all survivors,

but how can i be

when i'm ripping new scars

numbing my insides with

tears that taste of vodka

and over-the-counter dreams

heartbeat racing

no one knows why

shaking, burning

just to be beautiful

in this disorder

no one needs to know

it's my secret: desire to be

everything i'm not...

...everything they are

i'm trying so hard

[but failing]

maybe if i burn myself out

they'll see that i tried

i swear, i tried, to be everything

[they wanted]

maybe they'll say she was

beautiful in this disorder --

whirlwind, and a desperate dance

of love

10:44 a.m. - 2003-01-07

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next